Women shut up when men are present. Children shut up when parents are present. This was the conventional wisdom in peer education programs in Kenya until we decided to question the obvious. I convened two experimental workshops of six families each — father, mother, and two adolescent children — in Kakamega and Mombasa towns. There I used role play and simulations to first demolish stereotypes: I reconstituted virtual families so that husbands sat with unfamiliar wives and progeny, and then made men play youth, women play men, and youth play women. After a morning of this, it was clear that silences could be broken. The resulting process was called Family Discussion Groups (FDGs), and became a key component of a large reproductive health and family planning project called AMKENI.

In FDGs, entire families meet regularly, and explore their reproductive and familial predicaments by constructing imaginary characters and stories. These stories recreate familiar realities, and when they are brought to life through role play, they start becoming inspirational. While designing solutions for their fictional characters, families absorb lessons for their own lives.

FDGs have led to a spectrum of change through open communication within families in areas ranging from alcoholism and domestic violence to multiple partners, promiscuity and unprotected sex.